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25 December 2012 @ 11:02 pm
a new year  
christmas is over. and i'm relieved, quite frankly. things were hectic and stressful this year, but i survived, and i'm ready for a new year to begin. i have big plans for 2013. i really hope to change my life for the better. i'm sick of treating myself like i don't matter. i'm gonna turn things around. hopefully next december i'll look back and laugh at how silly i was to let myself suffer with these problems for so long. but enough about that.

all things considered, today went pretty well. everyone here is sick. seems as soon as one of us gets better someone else drags another illness into the house. its my least favourite part of winter.

everyone seemed to be happy with the gifts i got them! my mom seemed genuinely happy with the stuff i bought her, and i think my dad liked his presents too. my nephews and sisters probably couldn't care less, but oh well haha. i also got some really awesome stuff myself! i got a hardback cover of watership down and plague dogs, an electric tea kettle, a neat wall shelf to put jim's clays on (every time people came into my room they'd bump into the bookcase they were originally sitting on and fall and break :T), and sketchbook pro 6! i'm especially excited about that last thing and can't wait to use it. the tablet i have at the moment doesn't seem to be compatible, but it's awesome i have the program now. i wasn't expecting that at all!

i think the highlight of the day was watching the dogs tear into their presents. every year we fill a couple bags with dog treats and toys and let 'em open them. they seemed to know last night that something special was going to happen today! chewey especially was excited. this was her first christmas!

chewey couchchewey presents


as much as i dreaded christmas this year, i will be sad to see the decorations go. i feel like i just put my tree up (even though it's been up for over a month haha), and i'm thinking i might... leave it up year-round, just cos i love it so much. also because i'm too lazy to disassemble the damn thing.

anyhoo, after my birthday i'm going to start getting serious about stuff! going to find a way to make money and stop feeling sorry for myself. change all the negatives into positives. i plan to lose at least 40 pounds and start taking better care of myself so i can get a handle on this depression before it's too late. i'm excited, really. it's one of those things i kinda just wanna dive right into, but it takes a bit of planning. i really hope things will start looking up for me soon! i'm glad i'll (hopefully) be making some positive changes. i've waited far too long. a lot of it is just having the right mindset, i think. i want to drop this 'nothing i do matters' mentality and start feeling like i matter again.

pff. okay. that's enough rambling, right? i'm exhausted (barely got any sleep last night) and don't feel very well, so i do believe i'll relax and read one of the books i got. so far plague dogs has been really interesting!

g'night.

ham
 
 
 
mijflymijfly on December 27th, 2012 02:09 am (UTC)
i'm so glad to see you adopting a positive attitude and being serious about making changes that will be beneficial to you. i know you can do it and i fully support you <3