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22 November 2012 @ 07:31 pm

thanksgiving went well! it was just immediate family, this year. we cut most of the dishes out of the menu, but there was still way too much food to fit on the table. shameful. haha.


it was nice to have the family together in one room, even though we don't get along very well these days. it's fun to reminisce and tease each other.

oh yeah, since everyone is posting what they're thankful for today, i think i should too. i feel so fortunate to have the friends and family i do. i know we don't always see eye-to-eye, but we love each other, and that's what matters. i'm thankful i've never had to go without a meal, and thankful i have a place to sleep every night. so many people don't, and that breaks my heart. i'm no different from them. i don't deserve to live this well.

i'm extremely thankful i know such amazing people. i've lost people i considered friends this year because i'm so emotional and so indecisive, so i truly, truly, truly appreciate those who have stuck around without judging or getting angry <3 especially jim. he's seen me at my absolute worst and has always been there for me. i'm grateful to have him in my life. i honestly don't know what i'd do without him! he's put up with my crying and screaming when no one else could. thank you so much, jim. i love you.

and thank you to those of you who have sent good thoughts, prayed, or cared about me in your own ways while i've dealt with these personal issues. even if we've never spoken before. please know i don't expect anyone to. i'm aware i vanish and reappear too often, but in a way doing that has helped me see just who really cares, and who doesn't. some people pay attention because they genuinely care. others are just there to watch the show. i appreciate those of you who don't jump to conclusions/make assumptions and patiently wait for me to return to my senses when i run away. i don't deserve your kindness. things are incredibly tough for me right now, but someday i'll make it out of this slump and i'll make it up to you.

despite how well most of the afternoon went, today kind of ended on a sour note. seeing someone saying some rather hurtful/untrue things about me online has me feeling down, but considering i'm guilty of doing the same thing to another person a while ago, i'm going to take a lesson from it rather than sit here and whine. i'm aware now of how much it hurts to have people say nasty things about you behind your back (especially when you thought they were a friend), and i'm determined now more than ever not to do it again. i guess that's something i can be thankful for too, as much as it stings right now haha. every day is a lesson. i'm not going to let this get me down like the livestream did a while back, though. i'm just going to leave those hurtful things and people in the past and keep moving forward! though i wish i could go back in time and apologise like crazy for hurting others :/ lessons. lessons lessons lessons.

no art tonight, since i'm feeling sort of blue over things, but have photos of mo and miss kitty, cos i'm quite thankful for them as well!

miss kitty


Current Mood: thankfulthankful